The Truth About Lies
by Winter-sama
Summary: What happens when one can tell the truth and only the truth, and the other has no self-control?  Hilarity, one would imagine.  Oh yeah.  And fluff.  LOADS of it! So much that imma give you all cavities! pls r&r.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello my faithful readers! For those of you who are following 'Be Ok' – I promise, I haven't given up on that story yet! This little plot bunny, however, has been rattling around inside my brain for over a week now and it just won't let me get any rest until I put it down on paper.**

**This story's gonna be pretty fluffy and much more in the tone that 'Colder' was. It'll be a challenge for me, though, in keeping Beckett and Castle **_**in**_** character, when they are clearly operating **_**out **_**of character. I expect you all to keep me in line with this one!**

**Without further ado! On with the fic!**

**Disclaimer: I don't even want to pretend to be associated with Andrew Marlow – until Josh is gone, I feel that he and all his associates needs to sleep with one eye open!**

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_Beep….Beep….Beep…..Beep….._

As Kate Beckett clawed her way towards consciousness she became aware of a number of things – most of them unpleasant. An incessant and rhythmic beeping was relentlessly pinging against her eardrums like Chinese water torture, making her throbbing headache impossibly worse. The first rays of light to blister past her eyelids made her seriously consider never opening her eyes again, since she was pretty much convinced at this point that being permanently blind was better than ever experiencing that level of driving pain ever again.

As she lie there, her face screwed up in a grimace of pain, she slowly became aware of a hand holding hers gently. Eventually she also became aware of a familiar and comforting scent and she felt herself relax, feeling the pain in her skull loosen enough to try and crack her eyes open again one more time.

"That's right, Katie," she heard his soothing voice rumble softly, "it's time to wake up."

Hearing the thread of worry in his voice, she finally pries her unwilling eyelids open, bracing herself for a new wave of light induced pain, and is relieved to see that he's dimmed the lights since her first efforts.

His face is haggard and he looks like he's aged ten years since she last saw him. But the smile on his face as her eyes meet his is filled with relief and love.

"Daddy?"

Her voice is hoarse and her throat is dry as sandpaper. Taking a drink of water from the procured glass, she tries again. "What happened? Where am I?" she asks, taking in her surroundings for the first time. Immediately she locates the source of the incessant assault on her ears and she's surprised that it's being caused by her own heartbeat. "Why am I in the hospital?"

She doesn't miss the flicker of worry that crosses his face at her confusion and she feels her heart sink at the possible reasons for her current predicament. She does a quick assessment of her body as she waits for her father's answer, relieved to find all of her limbs intact and no signs of any deep or penetrating wounds that would indicate that she'd been shot. The only real pain that she's aware of is the persistent throbbing in her head.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

She tries to think back. She and Castle had been getting in her car to go…somewhere. '_Why can't I remember where we were going?' _she wonders. Suddenly, pain shoots through her skull again as flashes of memory come back to her.

The snowstorm.

Taking Castle home.

A patch of ice.

The moving truck.

She feels the bile rise in her throat as she remembers the sound of metal crunching. Of Castle yelling out her name as the car spun around before slamming into something else and finally coming to a stop. She remembers nothing after that.

"Castle! Is he alright?" she's suddenly panicked as the thought of having lost him fills her mind. She's struggling against her father's arms and it takes her a few moments to realise that he's talking to her.

"Katie! He's ok!" she feels him loosen his grip on her shoulders slightly as she stops fighting him, the words finally sinking in.

"Where—"

Her words are cut off but the curtain beside her bed being opened by a certain red-headed matron, her eyes alight with amusement. Her jaw drops as Castle comes into view, sitting up in his bed playing cards with Alexis as though nothing at all were amiss in the world.

The relief that she feels seeing that he is ok is rivalled only by the flutter that she feels when she sees his face light up as he too realises that she's finally awake.

"Kate!" she smiles, letting his casual use of her first name slide given the circumstances. The smile drops off her face, however, when she sees him start to try and get out of his bed, pulling at his IVs in his rush to come over to see her.

"Castle! What are you doing?" she exclaims, trying to stop him from hurting himself worse than she already has. She sees a harried looking nurse rush into the room, undoubtedly called in by all the unhappy sounds that he's cause the machines to generate.

"Mr. Castle-"

"Look, Nurse Ratched! She's awake! My Kate's awake!"

The nurse smiles and rolls her eyes in a way that reminds Kate of herself when dealing with Castle at his most infantile.

"Is your name really—"

"No," the nurse smiles in her direction and they share a look of commiseration, "your dear friend here took to calling me that when he woke up two days ago and I wouldn't let him crawl into your bed."

"He's been trying to crawl into my bed for three years now,"she quips, rolling her eyes.

"Well I can't help it if you can't be wooed by my extensive charms," the man in question pouts, finally allowing the nurse and his daughter to fix his monitors and tubes before letting them help him up out of the hospital bed and across the room to check for himself that she really is alive and well.

"Oh Castle, you won me over ages ago—" her eyes widen as she realises that she's said those words aloud. She stares in mute horror at the others in the room, each of their faces reflecting the shock she feels, Castle frozen mid-stride only a few steps from her bed.

Finally snapping out of it, she finds herself quickly engulfed by his much larger frame, as he murmurs in her ear "Is that so, Kate?"

She shudders at his proximity though she is surprised by his lack of concern for showing such open affection in front of such a large audience, and she finds herself gently pushing him away from her. He's still holding her hand as he sits beside her on the bed, his other hand rising up to gently cup her cheek.

"I'm so glad you're ok" he murmurs, his eyes filled with emotions.

"My head hurts," she's surprised to hear herself tell him. He is too, from the startled look on his face. They had both expected her to say her usual 'I'm fine'.

'_So why didn't I?_' she puzzles.

Her thoughts are interrupted by the doctor entering the room.

"Ah! Ms. Beckett, you're awake. How are you feeling?" he smiles brightly.

"Like crap, actually. The lights are too bright, the monitors are too loud and I still don't know what's going on," her eyes widen in horror as she realises just how much information she has just blurted out. When she looks around the room this time, it isn't just shock that she sees on the faces of their collective family members, but something else that she can't quite place.

"Oh dear," she hears the doctor murmur quietly as she feels Castle's hand tighten around hers, "I take it that you're not typically this…uh…forthcoming, are you?"

She feels the heat rise up on her cheeks again as the others in the room all shake their heads vehemently in response.

Her voice is shaking a little as she asks the question that she's both terrified and desperate to hear the answer to. "What's wrong with me?"

"Well, Ms. Beckett, it appears that both you and Mr. Castle have suffered some temporary brain damage from the concussions that you received in the crash."

She feels like she's just had the wind kicked out of her. _Brain damage?_ She feels the beginnings of a panic attack closing off her airways. But just as she's about to go into full hyperventilation, she hears the doctor continue.

"You need to calm down, Ms. Beckett. As I've said, it's just temporary. We've run our tests and scans and while there is some bruising of the brain and some minor swelling, we have every confidence that the problems will correct themselves."

"Wait a second—" she stops him as she registers a second bit of information, "_both_ of us have brain damage?"

Turning to meet Castle's gaze she sees him shrug his shoulders, "apparently I can't control myself."

Despite the situation, she can't help but snicker. "Castle, you never could!"

"Well yes," the doctor breaks in, "but this time, _medically_ speaking, the part of his brain that took the greatest hit, the frontal lobes, was the part that regulates impulse control. Mr. Castle here, very literally, has absolutely no filter between what he thinks and what he does."

She suddenly feels the pieces fall into place – the excesses of public affection, the nickname for the nurse, the impulsive struggle to get out of his bed at the risk of hurting himself.

She's afraid to ask, but she does anyways. "And me?"

"Well, Ms. Beckett, based on what our scans have shown us and on what we've seen here in the last ten minutes or so, it appears that the most significant damage occurred to your frontal cortex – that is, the part of your brain that controls your ability construct fallacies."

"What does that mean?" she hears herself asking, the horror of their situation slowly beginning to dawn on her.

"It means that you are no longer able to tell a lie."

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**Ok folks – let me know what y'all think. I understand that the entire premise of this story requires a great deal of willing suspension of disbelief. To be honest – I'm not even entirely certain that such medical conditions exist, and if they do – just how temporary they would be – but I think I saw cases of each of these problems on episodes of House (that's right, _all_ my medical expertise comes from TV!...and Google :p).**

**At any rate – I'm just using their "medical conditions" as a means of torturing our two favourite heroes into admitting their feelings to each other...and providing high-larious entertainment value for all of you, of course!**

**I hope you all enjoyed! ^_^**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello faithful readers! WOW - you've once again blown me away with your AMAZING reviews! Normally, I try to reply to each and every one of them as they come in, but there were just too many of you! (Not at all encouraging you guys to stop though!)**

**Thank you to everyone who is reading this story and a very special thank you to those of you who reviewed or are following it! Y'all are warming the cockles of my cold, dead heart ;)**

**I'm so sorry for the delay - it appears that once I got the first chapter of this story out, that my muse tortured me with for WEEKS, the little bitch jumped ship and left me with no idea how to continue it! So I'm gonna say, I'm not entirely happy with this chapter - but I hope that you can forgive me - I've never had to write without my muse around before - must be the three week Castle dry spell..**

**At any rate - try to enjoy the chapter - even if it is sub-par!**

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**Chapter 2**

_Your mother was a devout believer in the truth, and if she were here right now she would tell you that the truth can never hurt you._

Sitting in her hospital bed, Kate Beckett wasn't sure if she wanted to laugh or cry at the irony of her mother's beliefs. She had always considered herself to be an honest person. She didn't deliberately lie, cheat or steal. She had always believed in the innate integrity of her actions and her words.

It turned out she hadn't only been lying to herself, but to everyone around her.

She had always been a guarded and private person, she had just never realised how much of that had depended upon her ability to deceive those around her. Oh sure, she didn't tell bald-faced lies that were designed to hurt her family and friends, but she certainly hid behind little white lies and lies of omission that were designed to not only keep people from getting too close, but to make her life easier.

Until now.

Now, as she turned to look at the pitiable sight of her partner tied down to his own hospital bed, she was filled with fear – fear that she would blurt out her true feelings for that man, fear that she would hurt him or chase him away with her completely uncensored words, because, not so deep down inside, Katherine Beckett was afraid that the people she loved left her because there was something deeply wrong with her.

That fear had stolen her voice.

It turned out that her only saviour, her only reprieve, was in silence. While she couldn't fabricate falsehoods, she was still left with the option of not speaking at all. Unfortunately for her, while that might have worked on most of the people in her life, it never had, and likely never would, work on Castle. Even without words, he could read her face like the books he wrote.

She sighed again, closing her eyes to the site of him, her heart aching to go to him.

"Are you really going to leave me strapped to this bed like some sort of lunatic?"

Her eyes popped open again at the unexpected sound of his voice. His tone was deliberately light, but she could hear the misery in his undertone. She had thought he was sleeping, though his blue eyes were now trained on her own, reading every nuance of her face.

After several minutes of silence, he spoke again, "it's not fair you know."

"What's that?" she finally answered, her voice hoarse from disuse.

"You have the option of silence. Me?" he sighed, "I don't get any of that. My words, my actions, my emotions – I have no control over any of it. And what does it get me? I'm strapped to this bed like some sort of rabid animal."

Her heart breaks a little seeing the pain and misery in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Castle." It's the truth. She's not afraid to tell him that much.

"Kate…please?"

She's losing her resolve. He's right after all, it's not fair. She might not be able to lie, but she still has some control. Again, she goes with a safe truth. "They don't want you to hurt yourself….I…don't want you to hurt yourself."

"Do you know what this is like?" his voice cracks a little. "It's like being ADD and high on meth – I feel like I'm going insane. I'm like that dog in that movie with the balloon house – the one that gets distracted by squirrels," she smiles a little, "except that everything and everyone is a squirrel. I just want to be with…you…I don't know…you just quiet it a little…"

That was it. She didn't know how he did it, but he did. Every single time. Before she was even fully aware of her actions, she found herself slowly climbing out of her bed, being careful not to knock any of her lines or monitors that might alert the nurses.

Standing at the edge of his bed, she debated with herself over the wisdom of untying the cuffs that held his wrists and ankles to the bed. Recalling the incident that morning that had finally caused 'Nurse Ratched' to strap him to the bed in the first place, she found herself wondering about what power this man had over her to cause her to go against her own common sense a mere twelve hours later.

"You know they strapped you to that bed for a reason," she sighed, running her hand through his hair, hoping that the action would soothe him just a little. She felt him lean into her hand a sigh contentedly.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to keep pulling my lines out, they just itch," he whined a little, wriggling his fingers in the cuffs.

"If you'll recall," she chuckled at the memory, "that wasn't the straw, so to speak, that broke poor Ratched's back."

"It was too hot in here," he smiled.

"So you decided to run naked down the halls?"

"Seemed like the thing to do at the time."

"You know you've probably traumatised Alexis for the rest of her life," the instant the words left her mouth she regretted them. Immediately his face sobered and his eyes lost their twinkle of amusement.

"Do you think she'll ever forgive me?"

"Yeah Castle, I do," and she smiled, glad that this time, her forced truthfulness could bring the man some comfort – though she'd nearly bitten her tongue off to prevent the word 'eventually' from being tagged on to the end of that sentence.

"Are you really not going to untie me? I promise not to do it again." The 'charm' smile was back in place, though it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"That would be too ba—" the words were out of her mouth before she was even fully aware that the thought had formed and well before she could slap her hands over her mouth to prevent their escaping.

"Oh really, Kate? Did you like what you saw?"

Normally, this would be the point where she would turn on her heal and walk back to her bed and leave him there believing that she had no intention of untying him. Unfortunately for her, it turned out that she wasn't able to act out against her own intentions either – and because she had no intention of leaving him bound to his bed like some sort of criminal, she found herself unable to pretend that she would just to hear him beg. She couldn't even threaten him. She wanted to bang her head against the wall in frustration, but the fear of making her brain damage permanent stopped her.

Sighing once again, she found herself loosening the cuffs on the wrist closest to her. As soon as it was free, she felt him latch onto her hands.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Stay?"

She knew that she shouldn't – unfortunately, she also knew that she really wanted to. Without saying a word, she shuffled around to the other side of the bed to unbind his other wrist.

Rubbing at his wrists, he looked at her expectantly waiting for her answer. When it came, he found himself surprised.

"Move over."

Shifting over as much as his still bound ankles would allow (and he was immensely grateful that he had _some_ leeway with them), she slowly climbed in beside him, finding herself immediately wrapped up in his arms and pulled against his chest.

Feeling him sigh in contentment, she allowed herself to relax against him. Just as she was about to drift off to sleep, she heard him mumble something.

"What was that?"

"I said, are you really going to leave my ankles tied up?"

She smiled against his chest and answered with the honest truth.

"Yes I am, Castle. I don't want you running off in the middle of the night," she could almost hear the wheels turning in his head, "and don't even think about taking them off yourself. I'm a light sleeper and if I so much as feel you start to sit up, I'll pull out your chest hair one piece at a time."

She smiled, proud at herself for being able to find a threat that she fully intended to carry out if necessary. She just hoped it would be enough to stop him from trying, despite the fact that he had very little control over his impulses.

"I've got you in my arms right now, Kate. There's no place else I'd rather be."

She stiffened in his arms at the sincerity that she heard in his voice, but found herself unwilling to be believe that he hadn't just spoken them as an impulse.

"I meant what I said, Kate," he whispered into her hair, having felt her tense in his arms, "holding you quiets the insanity for a while."

Refusing to analyse the deeper meaning of his words, she forced herself to relax and enjoy the feeling of being held in his arms. Listening to his breathing as it evened out, she found herself slowly drifting off to sleep.

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**As I said before - not sure how pleased I am with this chapter - but here it is - a bit more serious than I was aiming for, but I'm hoping that (with the return of my treacherous muse) the next few chapters should lighten up some.**

**Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!**

**I'm so sorry for the long hiatus with this story! I've already explained part of the reason in my A/N for 'Be Ok' (ie. I suck at life right now) - but also, b/c I've been finding it really difficult to switch gears from that story - and I want this story to be nothing but light fluff and cavity inducing sweetness! We all saw how Chapter 2 was far more somber than any of us wanted it to be - hopefully this one will be much more in keeping with the tone I wanted for this piece.**

**Be warned - if you're looking for substance - turn. away. now. There will be none of that here! :)**

**::insert shameless self-plug here:: If you want substance - go read 'Be Ok' - and review it of course! ;)**

**Alright - enough of all that.**

**First up:**

**THANK YOU OMG WOW AMAZING AND HOLY CRAP! You guys and your reviews never cease to blow me off my ass! Keep 'em coming! I love you all for each and every word - for good or for bad!**

**On with the tale!**

**disclaimer: Seriously - would Marlowe ever come up with this kooky of a storyline - of course not. That's my job. I'll give 'em back when I'm done...maybe.**

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**Chapter 3**

_"I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies" -Pietro Aretino_**  
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Kate Beckett, NYPD detective, knew what it meant to watch time crawl by. She'd been on stake outs for hours watching seemingly empty buildings in seemingly empty alleys. She'd pored over financial records and witness statements, like a needle in a haystack, until her eyes burned in her head and her mind screamed to be occupied with something else.

The last three days were something far beyond her experience. She was crawling out of her skin. Worse, given her…condition…the steely control with which she hid her innermost thoughts and emotions was sorely lacking, and she wasn't the only one paying the price.

"Nurse Ratchet! (_oh yes, she was going to have to 'thank' Castle for implanting that little gem in her mind once this as all over_) When do we get to leave?"

"Detective," the nurse replied calmly, somewhat worse for wear after three days with her two special patients, though smiling nonetheless, "you will be able to leave just as soon as the doctor has reviewed your's and Mr. Castle's last MRIs."

Bless that poor woman's soul, but she had the patience of a saint.

"But we want to go noooooooooow," Castle chimed in, not one to be left out of the 'fun' of haggling the poor nurse.

"Castle!" Beckett found herself barking in annoyance, "if you whine like that one more time, I'm going to go over there and twist your ear right off your head."

His eyes lighting up with childlike glee he turned to Beckett.

_Game on_.

"No you won't."

"Oh yes I will. Remember, I can't tell any lies. That means that everything that I say is true. Therefore _res ipsa loquitur_," she snarked his own Latin back at him.

"You still won't do it," he smiled knowingly, egging her on, waiting for the right moment to spring his trap.

"And what makes you say that?"

It was sad really. She'd practically waltzed right into it with all the grace of a rabbit in a hunter's snare.

"Because you love me."

He smiled.

She paled.

...at least until she flushed a deep crimson.

Taking her silence as a sign of his victory, he lay back against his pillow, smile wide and jubilant.

In spite of her embarrassment at their public antics, the last three days had taught Beckett a lot, some of it about Castle, most of it about herself. After giving in to Castle's pleading for her to keep him company in bed, it turned out that the restraints were largely unnecessary.

At least, _most_ of the time.

Unfortunately, it did seem that the man had an unrepentant desire to streak the hallways in his birthday suit – a quirk that she found both endearing for reasons that she was at a complete loss to explain, and somehow, not at all surprising. While she was near him, she had quickly learned the signs of an impending streaking session – unfortunately for the harried nursing staff and some of the more easily shocked patients on their floor, she hadn't quite managed to catch him every time. Suffice it to say that in the last three days, there wasn't too much of Castle that she _hadn't_ seen. And when she was completely honest with herself (_the irony of that thought was not lost on her_) she could admit that she liked what she saw.

But it wasn't just the physical nakedness that he revealed to her – it was the emotional nakedness that surprised her the most. She had always thought that Castle had little self-control to begin with – boy was she wrong. That man wore more masks than she could ever have imagined. What surprised her further still was that, despite his complete loss of inhibitions and impulse control, there were still certain parts of himself that he showed only to her. While the childish behaviour and petty arguments were perfectly at home in a public forum, despite the embarrassment to her and his family, any emotions of fear or sadness were kept from the nurses and shown only to her. It was amazing really – either he had more impulse control than the doctors originally thought, or else he simply never felt any urge whatsoever to reveal those thoughts and feelings to the people around him except for her. For the time being, she refused to dwell on which of those two options was likely to be the case – she really wasn't ready to deal with it yet.

Which reminded her…

"Nurse Ratchet!"

"Detective Beckett!" the infinitely patient nurse finally showed the first signs of cracking. Sighing in relief when the doctor finally entered the room, the nurse beat a hasty retreat and let the detective browbeat the doctor for awhile.

"It's about time, doctor! We would like to go home," her tone brooked no argument and even fewer manners.

"Kate…" Castle looked over to her, his eyes pleading. "You have to talk nice to the doctor and not piss him off if you want him to let us go," he mock whispered.

Aiming her glare in his direction she mimed yanking his ear off as he reeled away from her gesturing hands, slapping his own hands protectively over his ears.

The doctor smiled at their childish antics and decided to take pity – granted not on the two patients, but rather, on the rest of his staff. He wasn't sure how much more they could take and given that the two were on the mend with no signs of the damage being permanent, he was happy to let them go home. There was just one small catch...

"Well, Detective Beckett, Mr. Castle, I've reviewed your scans and feel that you two can be discharged from the hospital—"

"YES!" Castle's exuberant cry and fist pump cut the doctor off mid-sentence while Beckett just flopped back down on her pillows in relief.

"But—"

She shot up again – she had a sinking feeling she wasn't going to like this.

"I understand that you, Detective, live alone. Unfortunately, you will need to either have a friend stay with you, or else you will need to find a friend to stay with in order for me to release you."

"That won't be a problem doctor," Castle piped up from his bed, already moving towards her bed. "She'll be staying with me and my family."

"Well it's settled then—"

"Excuse me," she cut the two men of harshly, "I resent you two deciding my life for me, I'm not a child, I can take care of myself."

"Kate," Castle sat down beside her, taking her hand up in his, "you do realise what will happen if you decide to go home by yourself, don't you?"

Now, most people would conjure up images of sudden brain aneurysms, forgotten medications, strokes, and other such calamities. Kate Beckett knew better. She knew better because the last three days had taught her that there were worse things in life than a brain aneurysm. In her mind, she saw images of Castle, stark naked, running through the streets of Manhattan, yelling her name to the high heavens, to come and find her, his poor family chasing after him.

She dropped her head in defeat, muttering 'fine' under her breath.

She'd barely gotten the words out before she found herself being hoisted from her bed. Before she knew it, she found herself flipped upside down, ass over tea kettle, draped over Castle's shoulders and being afforded a _very _interesting view down the open back of his hospital gown. Between her shock and horror, she found herself extremely grateful that Lanie had brought her a set of pajama pants and t-shirts.

That did not, however, take away from the fact that she, a grown woman, and an NYPD detective, for goodness sake(!) was being carried at an alarming speed down the hospital hallways like a sack of potatoes, and by Richard-Freaking-Castle, of all people.

"Put me down, Castle!" she yelled, thumping him in the back with his fists.

"Shhhhh! We're making a break for it! Can't let them catch us!" he yelled back up gleefully.

His glee, and her embarrassment were short lived as they were both tackled to the ground only a few hundred feet from their room.

Lying in a tangled heap on the floor, it took a few minutes to figure out what happened.

"Well, well. What have we got here?" the person standing above them didn't even try to hide their amusement.

Finally pulling herself from the wreckage of limbs on the floor, Beckett found herself staring up at her best friend, her boss, her other partner and her father. The only person missing from the audience was—

"Guys…" Ryans muted voice groaned from somewhere beneath Castle's still sprawled frame, "get him off me"

Finally regaining his own bearings, Castle pushed himself into a sitting position, finally allowing the much smaller man to get free of the pile-up

"They're letting us out, Lanie!" Castle crowed triumphantly, not the least bit phased by either the failed 'kidnapping' attempt, nor by the fact that his now completely twisted hospital gown was doing a very poor job of hiding…well, anything really.

At that moment in time, just when she thought that nothing in the world could ever cause her to blush again, she sat there in the hospital hallway and prayed for the ground to open up and swallow her whole.

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**There you have it folks! I hope that this lived up to your hopes of mindless fluff a bit better than the last chapter.**

**Please let me know what you guys think. I'm really not sure how I feel about this chapter, personally. I'm not sure how well I kept them in character (all things considered). Any suggestions for future antics are also most welcome and will quite likely find their way into future chapters.**

**Thanks for sticking with me guys! Y'all are truly, truly AMAZING people. ^_^  
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	4. Chapter 4

**At long last! An update! I'm so very sorry for the long delay - I really am. You guys have been AWESOME - both with your reviews AND with your infinite patience with me.**

**I mentioned this in my A/N at the end of 'Be Ok' - but I'm sad to say that I've been on temporary hiatus with this story b/c, to be frank, life just hasn't been very funny for me lately. Hopefully, I'm working my way out the other side again - and I hope that this chapter doesn't disappoint you all if it's not up to its usual caliber.**

**A very, VERY special thank you to LittleLizzieZentara - I've started to incorporate some of your awesome ideas - let's see if you can find them! LOL**

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_"Lying to ourselves is more deeply ingrained than lying to others." -Fyodor Dostoevski_

**Chapter 4**

Kate Beckett is in Hell.

If she'd thought being out of the hospital was going to make her life easier, she quickly discovered that she was SADLY mistaken.

Granted, they'd lost their public forum, and so her embarrassment had ebbed somewhat, but they had also lost their hospital 'chaperones'.

It seemed that, though she hadn't realised it at the time, Castle really _had_ been curbing his behaviour to a certain extent while they'd been in the hospital. Now that they were back at the loft, the one place in the world where he was the most at ease, the most comfortable, and the most unrestrained, well, let's just say, she wasn't sure who was more traumatised: herself, Alexis, or his poor mother.

In fact, Martha had jumped ship a mere 24 hours after they'd returned to the loft, claiming that there were just 'too many cooks in the kitchen' and that they'd be fine with each other and Alexis.

She was only slightly ashamed that she'd been unable to suppress the urge to call out 'coward!' as the actress fled the loft, suitcase in hand. Turning to Alexis, the twinge of guilt that she felt for calling her grandmother names evaporated – the poor girl looked like she either wanted to throw up or chase after her grandmother, pleading with her not to leave her alone with _them_.

And frankly, she couldn't blame the girl. They'd been in the loft no more than an hour before Castle had pulled out what certainly had to be _every_ gadget, toy, or game in the unit. To be honest, the living room looked like a hurricane had hit it.

'_Yeah, Hurricane Rick,'_ she snorted a little, rolling her eyes at the man's antics as he flitted from one thing to the next like a tweeked out ADHD kid off his meds on high on meth.

"Kate?" Alexis' voice pulled her from her thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"What do I do?"

Despite the vagueness of the question, she knew what the red-head meant.

_What do I do about the mess?_

_What do I do about my dad?_

_What do I do when I have to go to school?_

_What do I do about gram leaving?_

She wished she had an answer for the girl. At the very least, she wished that she could give her some half-truth platitude to make her feel better – but they both knew that she couldn't even give her that.

"I'm sorry, Alexis." It was the truth. It was the best that she could give her. "With the amount of energy he's expending, he's gotta sleep sometime, right? We'll deal with this then."

She smiled when Alexis smiled back.

Thirty seconds later she found herself fervently wishing for that energy pool to run out as he whisked her up in his arms and danced her around the room.

* * *

He was watching her sleep.

Again.

And in spite of everything they'd been through in the last week, the closeness they'd gained and the boundaries that they'd crossed, some things didn't change: it was still creepy.

"Stop it, Castle."

The room is still dark, her voice is hoarse from sleep and her eyes are still closed, but he's not surprised that she's aware of his gaze. It's not like it was a new development since they'd gotten out of the hospital anyways.

"I don't want to."

He hears her sigh, knowing she won't argue with him. Knowing that she knows as well as he does that there would be no point.

"Your staring woke me up," she grumbles, shifting around to get more comfortable. It's probably not fair, but she's too tired to find ways to get around telling him what's on her mind.

"Sorry."

And he is, she knows. He's sorry he woke her up, not so much that he was staring in the first place.

She'd always considered herself to be fairly self-aware. She knew what she liked, and she knew what she didn't like. She knew what she was willing to put up with, to compromise on, and she knew what would make her dig her heels in and become more immovable than the Rocks of Gibraltar.

Not for the first time since the accident, she found herself pondering how much she was learning, about herself, and more, even, that she was learning about her partner and her friend, which was no small feat given that the man had more layers than she could have ever thought possible.

She's learned that, despite the strength of her feelings against getting involved with coworkers, in general, and Castle, with his less than sparkling past, specifically, despite her fears, her anxiety and her deeply ingrained instinct to flee from the magnitude of risk that he represented to her heart, maybe even to her soul, she could not say 'no' in the face of his pain. She could not close the door on his suffering.

He was her partner. He was her friend – her _best_ friend, even, but he was not her boyfriend. He was not her lover.

Kate Beckett has always coloured between the lines. She liked the lines. They distinguished what was supposed to be inside of them, and what belonged on the other side. But this? The lines here had gotten so blurry that she'd have been hard pressed to decide what side she was sitting on anymore.

So here she was, wrapped up in this man's arms – ostensibly because it was the only way that either of them were going to get any sleep until they'd recovered. With or without her ability to lie intact, however, she would have found herself incapable of saying that she didn't enjoy the feeling of his arms wrapped around her midsection, the security of his chest pressed against her back.

She'd grown accustom to having him there with her after only two days in the loft, in addition to the three days in the hospital, which surprises her more than a little. It usually took her weeks to adapt to sharing her bed with a new boyfriend enough to sleep soundly.

That first night out of the hospital, however, he'd broken down her walls again. And while she'd like to say it had been easy - it hadn't. He'd been determined to stay with her. She'd stopped him at the door. When he'd tried to follow her, she'd locked the door. He'd then proceeded to spend the next two hours sitting at the door, alternatively rattling the knob, begging her to let him in, and resourcefully ransacking the house looking for something to pick the lock with.

She'd heard both Alexis and his mother try to lure him away from the door. Like a whining puppy wanting into the bedroom at night, however, his tenacity has finally driven them all to their knees.

It was Alexis who finally broke her resolve to wait him out. The teenager was not above begging in order to both get some sleep, but more importantly, quell the pain that she saw in her father's eyes.

Kate could withstand one Castle…barely. Two Castles? Not a chance.

And so she'd let him in.

Some ridiculous part of her had genuinely believed that they could compromise: she would let him in her room, and he would sleep in the chair.

Fat chance.

He'd been an immovable object in her bed almost instantly.

"Did you know that you talk in your sleep?" His voice startles her out of her thoughts.

"What?" She hopes she's heard him wrong.

She feels him smile into the curve of her neck as his arms tighten around her stomach.

"I never realised how often you dreamt of me, my dear detective."

If she thought she'd wanted the ground to open up and swallow her up before, it was nothing compared to her desire to disappear now.

Feeling her stiffen in his arms, he feels the familiar pang of guilt and regret. He really didn't want to keep pushing her buttons, but he literally couldn't help it. And, as much as her forced honesty could be highly amusing and entertaining, her discomfort pained him.

"I'm sorry," he mutters into her hair again.

Again, she knows he means it. He always means it. She sighs and rolls over in his arms to face him – her cheeks still aflame. The sorrow she sees in his eyes, the regret, it surprises her.

"I know you are, Castle," she whispers back, brushing a stray lock of hair off his forehead.

She doesn't realise the magnitude of the simple gesture until it's too late – his eyes darken with desire and he's moving in before she can process what's happening. When his lips touch hers she's lost. In that instance, she finds herself powerless to pour anything less than her every honest emotion into the kiss.

In that instance, Katherine Beckett finally stops fighting. She stops fighting against the man; she stops fighting against her feelings. Most of all, she finally stops fighting herself.

* * *

**I hope you guys enjoyed this, despite the long wait. Despite the fact that it's little more than mindless fluff. Despite the fact that I'm not entirely happy with it.**

**I'm still completely WRECKED from the Finale - in fairness - and as tempted as I am to write a Finale-fic - there are enough of them out there (and some truly excellent ones, I might add) - but I feel that perhaps, a little mindless and plotless fluff just might be in order?**

**Please, let me know what you guys think. Your words are what brings me back to this. They truly are. I've now managed to finish two multi-chapter fics - a record for me, I assure you - and the credit goes ENTIRELY to all of you - to those of you who reviewed - to those of you who followed or favourited. You keep me going when I'm ready to quit - and for that, I thank you.**

**AND - I promise to try and do better on the next chapter :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

They had a new game now.

It seemed that once she had quit fighting him, once she'd stopped pushing him away, he no longer felt the need to stick to her side like glue. She would probably have been insulted if she wasn't so relieved to have regained a little personal space, if she wasn't secure in the knowledge that he wouldn't actually ever leave her, but most of all, if she didn't find this new game so damned entertaining.

The first night she'd woken up alone, she'd –well 'panicked' might be a bit of a strong word – more like 'worried' that, on some bizarre impulse, he had gone out and gotten himself into trouble.

'_Uh huh. Admit it – you felt the same icy cold fingers of panic tighten around your heart as you did when you first woke up in that hospital bed,_' she sighed at the stray thought, not really sure when Lanie's voice had officially become the little voice in her head that called her out on her own bull.

It hadn't taken her long to notice that his pillows and the spare blanket were also missing from the bed. Five minutes later, she'd located the writer in the master bathroom, bunked down in the oversized bathtub, sound asleep, arms and legs akimbo, poking up out of the tub that, despite its size, was no match for the man it was trying to contain.

The second night she woke up alone she went directly to the bathroom, expecting to see the missing writer once again curled up in the bath. She stood staring at the empty tub for a good five minutes before her sleep addled brain registered that he wasn't in there. It took her significantly longer to find him this time – sound asleep on the floor of the front closet. She wouldn't have found him at all if not for his legs sticking out into the foyer, too long to actually fit within the closet's tight confines.

It seemed to have become a game; every night they curled up in bed together and drifted off to sleep in each others' arms. At some point in the night, without waking her at all, he would climb out of bed, grab his pillows and the spare blanket that always lay at the foot of the bed, and find some obscure and oftentimes ridiculous place to curl up and go to sleep. And like clockwork, usually no more than a couple of hours later, something would wake her up and the hunt would be on: tucked under the breakfast bar behind the stools (she doesn't even know how he wedged himself in there without seeming to move the stools at all), under his desk in his office (his feet sticking out unceremoniously), underneath the staircase (she'd spotted him the minute she'd left the room), under the bed (that one had taken her the longest since it was the one place that he actually fit completely into), and even out on the balcony (she was surprised he hadn't frozen to death first).

Every night after she found him she would shake him awake and drag his half-awake form back to bed where, thankfully, he would stay for the rest of the night. By the third night, she'd found herself enjoying not only the challenge of finding him, but the reward that came with it - she blushed a little thinking about how talented Castle's hands were...and his mouth...and his...well, everything, really.

Tonight, the hunt had been going for an hour already and she was starting to really worry. She'd checked every spot she could think of, including the ones he'd already used just in case he'd run out of ideas, _'as if that were even possible_'. She was starting to seriously consider waking Alexis up to enlist her help, despite the fact that it was now 4:30 in the morning. '_If I don't find him in the next 20 minutes, I'll ask Alexis for help._'

That was when it finally clicked.

Alexis.

She grinned in relief, feeling the smugness of victory creeping over her face as she tip toed as quietly as she could into the young girl's room. It took her minute to spot him, hidden as he was in the pile of stuffed animals in the corner. Silent as a cat she made her way over to the sleeping giant among the little stuffed woodland creatures. Not wanting him to speak out when she woke him, she decided to press her lips to his, grinning at the appropriateness of kissing her prince charming awake as he slumbered in a pile of stuffed animals.

To say she was surprised with the speed and intensity with which he seemed to wake up and respond would have been an understatement, and she quickly found herself deepening what had started as a perfectly innocent gesture designed to wake him as quietly as possible.

Reality soon came crashing down on both of them in the form of one red-headed teenager's horrified voice.

"Dad? Kate? What are you guys doing in my room?"

The significance of how bad this was had them leaping away from each other as though they'd just discovered the other was on fire – which was a pretty apt description for her flaming cheeks at that moment.

"Oh my god, Alexis! I'm so sorry!" she couldn't continue – she didn't even know how. She'd never been more mortified in her entire life.

"Seriously guys! Making out in _my room_. While I'm _sleeping?_ Eww."

"Pumpkin, I can explain," Castle spoke for the first time, stuttering to put the words together to explain the inexplicable to his daughter, the end product of his efforts resulting in the three occupants staring open-mouthed and red-cheeked at each in horror.

It was Kate who broke first, and though the first snort of laughter surprised even herself, she found herself helpless to stop once she'd started and within seconds she was curled up on the floor clutching her sides with tears streaming down her face, struggling to catch her breath between hoots of laughter.

It didn't take very long for the other two occupants to join in her mirth, the teen's giggles and Castle's hearty chuckles soon adding their voices to the chorus of laughter filling the silence of the room.

"What the hell is going in here?"

The laughter stopped for a whole five seconds as the trio started at the red-headed matron standing in the doorway, her face as bewildered as it was bemused.

If asked, Kate would swear that she'd tried, she really had, but beyond her control a shrill whistle of laughter escaped her like air leaking from an over-inflated tire, the sound and the sight of her hands slapping themselves over her mouth to try and stifle the coming guffaws were enough to set the other two off all over again.

"My first night back and you three have all gone completely mad," she rolled her eyes before turning on her heal to leave the obviously demented trio to their ridiculousness.

It took them ten full minutes before any of them could even look at each other without bursting into fresh fits of uncontrollable laughter. By the time they'd gotten even a tenuous hold on themselves, both Alexis and Kate's faces were wet with tears and Castle's face was red from laughter.

"Ok, seriously guys, what the heck were you two _doing_ in here?"

"I'm so—so—sorry," Beckett managed to choke out between a few leftover giggles, "but I was really trying _not_ to wake you up…" she trailed off seeing the incredulous look on the girl's face, and turned her eyes to the girl's father for help.

"That still doesn't explain why you're both in my room in the first place," she asked, still wiping at the wetness on her face.

Sighing, Beckett realised she was going to have to come clean about Castle's new found game, seeing as the man himself was choosing a most inconvenient time to have gone mute. "Your dad's started a new game. Every night for the last week he's gotten up at some point during the night and gone to sleep in some ridiculous corner of the house – and every night I've had to go and find him and put him back to bed."

"But why?" this time the teenager's question was squarely directly at her father.

Hanging his head, he muttered something incomprehensible.

"What?" the two women found themselves asking at the same time.

Finally, he sighed, squared his shoulders and looked the woman sitting in front of him on the floor square in the face as he answered. "I don't know why I started doing it, it just seemed like the thing to do at the time," he shrugged a little casting his eyes back down to the floor, "but then I found that I liked that you would come and find me, no matter how long it took. I liked it a lot."

She would've found herself smiling in response if he hadn't sounded so forlorn, and a little…awed? Reaching out to cup his chin so he would meet her gaze she addressed the lost little boy that she saw in the depths of his eyes. "I will _always_ come and find you, Castle. Always."

"You don't know that," he smiled sadly, the two of them temporarily forgetting the room's third occupant. "You'll get tired of me eventually."

"I won't," she answered simply and with as much sincerity as she could.

"How do you know?"

"Because I love you."

The look in his eyes as the truth of her words, and the bravery that this extraordinary woman had to speak them, without flinching and without hesitation had him leaning in to claim her lips.

"Not that I'm not thrilled for you two," Alexis' voice cut through with only a whisper of space left between, them causing them to pull back slightly.

"I love you both, I really do. But could you guys get out of my room before I'm in therapy for the rest of my life?"

* * *

**Random side note: **

**Have you ever had one of those moments when something happens, and it's not really all _that_ funny - but you just completely lose it? My best friend exploded my coffee in class once (it's a long story, but trust me, it was impressive). We were mortified - and yet, I have never laughed so hard in my life - seriously, I had slapped my hands over my mouth to try and stay quiet so that we didn't disturb the lecture and more than we already had. When I finally got a (tenuous) grip over myself, I couldn't even _look_ at my friend sitting next to me - not even in my peripheral vision - I had to but my hands up as blinders to I couldn't see her at all or I was gonna lose it again. That's what I kind of envisioned in this chapter.**

**So there you have it - the new chapter! I hope that it could live up to your expectations, and thank you all SO MUCH for your patience!**

**More serious side note:**

**I'm not even going to make excuses for myself and my delays in posting new chapters anymore. All I can do is apologise to all of you and thank you for sticking through this with me. You're readership means the world to me, you have no idea, but I feel like this story has gotten away from what I had originally intended it to be and I'm just about ready to give up on it and start over again. **

**Please let me know if you think this is worth continuing on the track it's currently going - or if you think it's just become kinda pointless. I'm admittedly feeling a little lost in it right now and I feel like it's affecting the quality of my work so your opinions on the matter would really mean the world to me.  
**

**Again - thank you to everyone who has reviewed - I'd like to think that I've stayed on top of replying to all of you - but if I missed you, I'm so sorry and feel free to send me a PM to give me shit for it! If you take the time to review, you totally deserve a reply!**

**Thank you so much, so much, so much and a thousand times more.**


	6. Chapter 6

**First of all, I want to thank ALL of you for your wonderful reviews and above all, for your PATIENCE! My goodness - it's been ages since I updated - and yes, I'm a terrible person for it!**

**Thanks to all of your wonderful reviews, I've decided to finish this story as it is - it'll be wrapping up in the next chapter I believe, since I was struck by a particularly brilliant stroke of inspiration courtesy of one reviewer in particular (who I won't name now, since I don't want to spoil the chapter for her - but I'm sure she'll know who she is by the end :) )**

**I'll blather more at the end - right now you guys just want me to get on with the story, am I right? Of course I am! Let's get to it!**

* * *

**Chapter 6**

If anyone had told her a week ago that being unable to tell a lie would be the best thing to ever happen to her, she would've told them that they were mad. In fairness, she wasn't entirely sure that she herself _wasn't_ mad.

Crazy or not, however, Kate Beckett was happier than she'd ever been in her life. Up until that point, her whole life had been about self-protection: she'd built up impenetrable walls to keep people out while protecting what was inside – her heart. Even before her mother's death she'd kept people at arm's length, letting them get close but not _too_ close. Since the night her and her father had crossed that yellow tape she'd been shoring up those walls, adding defenses meant to shoot down any and every one who dared to break through.

And yet, here she was, curled up in the arms of Richard Castle, bound to speak the truth and only the truth, and for the first time in her life, she felt completely free. She still didn't know how or why, but she knew with absolute, complete and utter conviction that this man loved her, mind, body and soul - and god willing, he would never leave her.

What had started out as the hardest, and in many respects, most humiliating weeks of her life, had culminated in what had to have been the most mind-blowing, life-altering sex of her life….not that she would _ever_ tell him that – _'as if he doesn't already know. But we wouldn't want him to think he doesn't have to try_.'

After finally being shooed out of Alexis' room, they'd run into Martha, who, it seemed, had retreated only as far as the kitchen and now sat perched delicately at the breakfast bar swirling a glass of what was very likely to be an extremely expensive wine.

Seeing the two shuffle into the kitchen looking a little ashamed of their show a few minutes prior, but holding hands nonetheless with matching small smiles gracing their faces, she had graced them with a look that was approving, amused and questioning all at the same time.

"Hi Martha," Kate had been the first to break the silence with a quiet voice. "I'm sorry you had—"

"Nonsense," the ageing diva had cut off her explanation with the wave of her hand, "it's much too late in the evening, and I'm much too old for the details," she'd added not unkindly.

Smiling through the faint blush that rose to her cheeks, she had met the elder woman's gaze with gratitude before turning to shuffle off towards the bedroom.

Stopping to kiss his mother goodnight on the way to following Kate, their hands still intertwined, they were stopped suddenly as Martha tugged on his hand.

"You know, I'm happy for you two," she had spoken quietly, looking them both in the eyes, "I know it's been hard for the two of you to come together, and even harder given the circumstances. But I want you both to know that I will support you, no matter what happens in the future."

Kate felt her eyes get moist at the earnestness of her words, and she saw that Castle was not untouched either. Smiling, he hugged his mother briefly, whispering a quiet thank you before continuing on towards the bedroom.

"Oh, in passing, Mother," he had paused at the door to throw back with a smirk, "I hope that you don't forget to support _me_ after Kate runs off will all of _my_ savings." His comment had earned him a smack in the shoulder from the woman next to him and a look from the other that would surely have involved a stuck out tongue if she hadn't prized her dignity so highly.

As soon as the door had closed behind him, he'd found himself pushed up against the door and her hot lips on his own before he could fully process what had happened – not that it stopped him from responding immediately to the toe-curling onslaught.

"I thought I was the one with the impulse control problem," he'd smirked when they'd pulled apart for air.

"Well Castle," she'd smirked back quirking an eyebrow in that oh-so-sexy way that never failed to make his blood rush to parts unspoken, "sometimes a girl just can't help herself."

"Well," he'd shuddered as she resumed her delicious torture on the sensitive skin around his ears, "I _am_ irresistible."

Pulling back from him suddenly to back away towards the bed, she'd dared him to follow her with a look that would have destroyed a lesser man. "Why don't you come over here and show me just how irresistible you can be."

Though she'd cringed internally at how corny it had sounded out loud, the effect was achieved nonetheless - he was on her in less than an instant, their clothes a distant memory only a few seconds later.

She had no idea how many times he'd brought her to the edge before pulling back – she was ready to scream when she finally felt him enter her. She _did_ scream as they both came crashing together on a wave of ecstasy like she'd never experienced before.

She was sure she'd been incoherent for several minutes afterwards, revelling in the weight of his body collapsed on top of her own.

"I love you."

Those three words, barely discernible as they were mumbled into the side of her neck where he'd buried his face, taking in the scent of her, had sent shivers through her body and filled her chest with a warmth she barely recognized as complete and utter peace.

"I love you too," she'd whispered softly, lifting her still gelatinous arms to run her fingers through his hair with a tenderness that she hadn't known she'd had.

There had been many repeat performances in the following hours of the night until at least he'd declared that she'd worn him out before wrapping himself around her and falling quickly into a peaceful doze, snoring softly.

She'd been lying there since, sure that she should be utterly exhausted, but unable to sleep, not wanting to leave the moment they had created together.

The sun had just started to peak up over the horizon when at last she'd felt her eyelids sliding shut.

* * *

As she slowly crawled her way back to consciousness, Kate was surprised to find that, instead of flowing through a pleasant post-AMAZING-sex fog, her head felt like it was going to explode. Forcing her eyes open, struggling in confusion against her leaded eyelids, she found herself staring into Castle's very worried blue eyes.

"Kate! Thank god you're finally awake! We've been so worried about you."

Through her confusion, she notices the many days old scruff on his chin, the red rimming his normally crystal blue eyes.

"Castle?"

She's surprised to hear her voice so hoarse, as if she hadn't used it in a long time. "What are you talking about? We just fell asleep together a few hours ago."

To call the look on his face 'shocked' would have been an understatement, but she saw him gain control of his features quickly, looking at her with concern instead.

"Do you remember the car accident?" he asks her softly, seemingly unable to stop himself from touching her – be it her hands, her face or her hair – looking like a drowning man desperate for a something solid to hold on to.

"Of course I remember it, Castle," she answers smiling at the memory of where that accident had ultimately led them, though she can't quite get her brain to figure out why he would be asking her that. "That was almost a week ago. That's why I'm here at your…" she trails off noticing her surroundings for the first time. Though she's sure they were curled up together when she at last drifted off to sleep, the plain white walls and flowers covering every horizontal surface of the small room she now finds herself leave her coming up empty for answers.

"Castle, what's going on? Why aren't we at your loft?" her voice quavers a little as she feels the growing pit of fear burgeoning in her belly.

"Kate," he answers softly, though his faces mirrors her own confusion now, "you've been in a coma since the accident," his voice catches suddenly, forcing him to pause, "we weren't sure you were going to wake up."

* * *

**Do you ever feel like there's an angry mob forming, complete with flaming torches and pitchforks, and that they're coming just for you? I'm sure this prickly feeling I keep getting is fairly similar to the one Marlowe was feeling the night 'Knockout' aired.**

**::ducks and runs for cover::**

**I'm sorry! It was the best place to end the chapter, I swear!**

**Would it make any of you feel better to know that the next chapter is half written and will be posted before next Sunday (more importantly, would any of you believe me if I told you that?)**

**karamarieross: please don't be mad that I used your (unintended!) suggestion as my main plot line! It was just too genious to pass up!**

**Please, let me know what you all thought - even if it's only to yell at me for leaving you guys on this plot twist/cliffhanger!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Here it is! Are you all shocked and amazed! And it's a whole 24 hours earlier than I promised! Even more amazing? I had it ready to post last night, but I lost my internet connection! Truthfully, I had to post it by the end of today since I leave for Haiti tomorrow for a month and the internet will be spotty at best (don't let that stop you from reviewing though! You're words will be especially nice to hear out there!).**

**So I realised something after I posted the last chapter: I must be a masochist or something. Every single time one of you threatened me (I'm looking at you _Celeste J. Evans, TheID, killmypatience, and Taly-chan_) I spent the next 20 minutes grinning like an idiot...longer if any of you mentioned picking up pitchforks or lighting torches. I really am one sick puppy. :p**

**A special shout out to all my awesome reviewers who have stuck with me from beginning to end! You guys are amazing! Here's to you (_SilverStella, Taly-chan, karamarieross, lolo1234, killmypatience, castlebecket_siempre, Minal, keal, LittleLizzieZentara, Bella Paige, TheID, DeBo81, Celeste J. Evans and genedoc_)!**

**Enough out of me for now - on with the final chapter!**

* * *

**Chapter 7**

Her first thought upon hearing Castle's choked up words had to have been _'this can't be real'_, followed very closely by _'this can't be happening'_. The pain in her skull was increasing exponentially as her battered brain fought to discern the real from the imagined.

"Kate?"

She's startled out of the whirlwind of confusion by the worry she hears in his voice, but she finds herself unable to do anything but stare back at him, her jaw opening and closing as if to form words, but incapable of stringing together words in any coherent way as he lowers himself down to sit on the hospital bed next to her legs, still clutching the hand not weighed down by tubes in his two.

But she doesn't understand, she _can't_ understand. _It was so real._

"What was?"

She's startled to realise she's spoken the words aloud and forces herself to speak the question she's the most terrified of hearing the answer to, "how do I know this isn't all a dream?"

Seeing a glimmer of understanding spark amongst the worry in his eyes, she feels him tighten his hold, moving one hand to rest on her leg below her knee. She twitches her leg in surprise at the heat of the contact, which he clearly mistakes for her shaking his hand off and he sighs, moving his hand back to his own lap.

She sighs, knowing she's hurt him, but is powerless to do anything about it through her confusion.

"I should let you get some rest," he says, his tone deliberately neutral as he gets up to leave.

Before she's even aware of her actions, she's tightened her grip on his hand, tugging him to a stop.

"Stay," it's little more than a rasped whisper, "please. I don't – I can't – I just…" she trails off unable to put her thoughts into words, unable to give voice to the scared little girl that seems to have taken up permanent residence in the back of her head.

She can see him battling his own demons as he hovers between her hand and the door, poised to stay just as he's poised to leave. Finally he smiles gently, settling himself back into the chair at her bedside, "Always."

* * *

The next time she wakes up she's still confused, still unsure of what world she truly exists in – is this the real world and the other a dream? She feels a terrible sadness at the loss of the life she'd finally learned to embrace.

_It never happened._

It's like a slap in the face. She feels it like a physical blow causing her a pain in her chest to rival the throbbing in her head.

She turns her head to find the man, the one who held her once, if only in her dreams. He's sound asleep, his head resting on their joined hands, snoring softly. She reaches over with her free hand to brush his hair from his brow, smiling a little as he twitches but doesn't wake up.

"I still love you, you know," she whispers to his sleeping form, a silent tear rolling down her face as she begins to mourn the loss of the love that she'd never really had.

* * *

The next time she wakes up, it's complete chaos in her room. Thankfully, she notes wryly, the throbbing in her head has dulled to a low roar, but the cacophony that fills the small space makes her wince nonetheless as she opens her eyes to the daylight. Her sight is filled with her family, all of them: Lanie, the boys, her father, Castle, Alexis, Martha, and a man she doesn't recognize – she figures he must be her doctor.

Through the tumult and the relief, she's able to work out that both she and Castle had been in a car accident, just as she remembered from the dream, but that only she had been seriously hurt, having hit her head hard against the side window as the car spun out of control. There had been some concern about intracranial pressure, but the doctor believed that she would make a full recovery over the next few weeks.

"So you weren't hurt at all then," she asks turning to face Castle, who had remained remarkably quiet since she'd woken up, though he hadn't left her side or relinquished her hand.

"Not at all, though I can't count the number of times I offered to trade places with you while you slept," his eyes mist over again, refusing to use the word 'coma' again if he can help it.

"So that means that you never lost your impulse control?"

The silence that greets her question is strained as every person in the room bites their tongue.

"What impulse control?"

It's Castle who finally breaks the silence causing everyone in the room to chuckle in spite of themselves.

"So you were never hospitalised?" she asks as he shakes his head 'no', still smiling gently, the smile finally reaching his tired eyes. "So I guess that means the nurses never tied you to the bed to stop you from streaking down the hallways naked then?"

"He never _what_?" this time it's Lanie who jumps in as everyone else's mouth hangs open in shock trying to process the mental picture she'd just given them all. She smiles, knowing her words had the intended effect with her friends, even as her heart aches a little knowing it was never real.

It's not long before everyone jumps in to take the shot they so desperately wanted to make until they're all laughing openly at the writer's expense.

As the room finally quiets down, it's her father that notices her eyes starting to droop closed despite her best efforts to stay awake for her friends.

"You still need your rest, Katie," he smiles at her, walking over to kiss her on the forehead, "we should probably get going."

Promising to return sometime later in the evening or the next day, one by one they all shuffled out except for Castle, her ever present shadow.

Once alone he turns to her again, a smile creasing his face, "if it would make you smile, I'd streak down that hallway in a heartbeat," seeing her roll her eyes as he'd hoped, he continues, "though I don't think Nurse Ratchet out there," he jerks his thumb in the direction of the nurses' station just outside the door to her room, "would be too pleased with it."

"Castle?" she asks, her eyes widening at the nickname, "have you been calling her that the whole time I've been here?"

"Who?" he asks confused, "Nurse Ratchet? Yeah – she kept trying to make me leave!" he pouts a little at the memory of the nightly battles with the 6'3" nurse. "Why?"

"It was all your fault!" she hisses, slapping him in the shoulder as it suddenly clicks. She _knew_ that wasn't a name she would have ever come up with on her own!

"Apples! Apples!" he shouts, jerking away out of her reach, "What's all my fault?"

"You!" she sputters a little, "in my dream – you kept calling the poor nurse 'Nurse Ratchet'."

He chuckles then, pleased to have corrupted her, even in this small way – though he wonders how much more she heard while she slept.

* * *

It's another week before they release her from the hospital, wanting to keep her under observation for any lingering damage from such a traumatic brain injury.

As the week went by Castle hardly left her side unless she told him to go him to shower, sleep and spend some time with his daughter, and even then, he did so with reluctance.

As the days crawled by, she found herself telling her family and friends many of the highlights of her dream – much to everyone's enjoyment and to near constant affirmations that she had a 'twisted mind' (that last one courtesy of Ryan). But there were many parts of the dream that she kept to herself – it was too painful to share – too painful to admit what she and she alone had lost.

It wasn't until he was helping her up to her apartment that she finally felt ready to tell him the truth – the whole truth.

After settling her on her couch and rushing around to get her a glass of water and her pain medications set up within easy reach, he finally begins his reluctant shuffle towards the door.

"Castle?" her words stop him in his tracks. "Can we talk?"

He hates those three words, he really does. Nothing good ever comes of them. But as she holds out her hand to him to beckon him back to her, he finds his feet moving of their own volition towards her.

"I haven't told you everything," she starts quietly as he sits next to her on the couch, "about the dream. I just – I couldn't, you know."

"You don't have to explain you know," he stops her, a little afraid of hearing her next words.

"Yes, I do," she looks him square in the eye, "you see – that dream, it taught me a lot – especially about what 'truth' means. The truth about lies is that we can't live without them, not even the white ones. Sometimes you need them to protect yourself or to protect the people you love," she sees him nod as he tries to understand where she's going with this. He knows about her own 'dream affliction', but she hasn't told him, or anyone else, the results of her 'condition'.

"I'm tired of lying, Castle," she sighs, "so much more happened in that dream that I don't think I can really talk about yet – but I need you to know that you were always with me, always. Every step of the way. And I realised something – I felt safe. For the first time in my life, I felt completely at peace and totally safe – and it was because of you. It might not have been real, but it was real to me, and to be honest, I miss it. I feel like I've lost a part of myself."

Seeing his stunned look she feels her stomach twist a little with nerves. As his silence continues to grow, she feels her heart sink. _Maybe it was too late. Had she waited too long?_

Blinking back the sudden moisture in her eyes, she ploughs on, trying to save as much of her shattered dignity as she can. "I understand if I'm too late – if you've moved on, but—"

"Katherine Beckett," he cuts her off, finding his voice at last "I would wait for you until the world ended, if that's what it took. I don't know how you could ever think otherwise."

"But you weren't saying anything," she mutters, blushing at the soft scolding and tenderness in his voice.

"Because I was trying to figure out whether _I_ was the one who had just slid into a coma for six days and dreamed up the words I've wanted to hear from you for over three years," he smiles, reaching forward to lift her chin gently, forcing her to meet his eyes again. "I love you, Katherine Beckett, and don't you ever doubt it."

The relief she feels flooding through her system is quickly replaced by the growing heat in her belly as their lips come together, his soft and comforting, hers desperate and aching to know for sure that this time, _this time_, it's real.

Eventually the need for air forces them to pull apart, though neither breaks the physical connection as their foreheads remain pressed together, his hands gently cupping her cheeks. She realises after a moment that he's brushing away tears she'd had no idea she'd even shed. She's sees the question in his eyes, '_what's wrong?_'.

"How do I know this is real?" she whispers, her voice shaking a little afraid that at any moment she would wake up again to find that she'd lost him all over again.

"I can't promise you this isn't a dream – I feel a little like I'm dreaming myself. But this is right - I know it's real."

She smiles through her tears, moving in to capture his lips again, her hands moving to his hair. Her last coherent thought before succumbing to their shared passion is that, if this is all a dream and she wakes up again in a hospital, she's jumping this man's bones the minute her eyes open, to hell with whoever else might be in the room too.

* * *

It takes nearly a month for Kate to finally, truly and wholly believe that she's not suddenly going to wake up in a hospital bed again, and though she's spent the last month afraid to go to sleep, she's found that she wouldn't trade the experience for the world. The fear of losing the man that she loves more than life itself has taught her to live her life to the fullest. While she's still all about the job and would be lost without her shield, she's learned to live for the small things too – like seeing his face first thing when she opens her eyes, even if he's usually lying sprawled out with his mouth hanging open, a tiny droplet of drool threatening to spill from the corner of his lips.

She's discovered that while she _can_ live without him, she'd never_ want_ to. Without Richard Castle, Kate is little more than Detective Beckett. With him, however, she is Kate Beckett, police detective, surrogate mother/sister to his teenaged daughter, and above all, a woman who knows what it's like to be loved for who she is.

Above all she's learned that the truth about lies is, while they can make life easier, they never make life better, especially when the only person you're lying to is yourself.

* * *

**THE END**

**Very afterschool special of me on that ending, I know. Sorry about all the cheese! Maybe you guys can make something edible out of it – personally, I recommend poutine (as it seems I have a large contingent of fellow Canadians among my readers! Hi guys! Happy Canada Day! (this made more sense when I wanted to post _last night_ and it was still Canada Day)).**

**For those of you who don't know what poutine is – it's fries with cheese and gravy – but oh, it's SO much more than that! Look it up. Seriously. Make some. It's AMAZING.**

**So there you guys have it! It's done! It didn't do a single thing I had planned – it decided the path it was going to take and it turns out that I had very little say in the matter – but here it is nonetheless.**

**I hope that you guys were able to enjoy it thought it wasn't what you were expecting, I'm sure!**

**Please, drop me a line to let me know what you think.**

**Thank you again, ALL of you for your support, your reviews, your favourites (both the story and me as an author) – I am truly humbled by all of you!**

**Only 78 days left till the premiere! See you all in the fall! HUGS! ^_^**


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